New horizons....


Sitting in a bird hide nursing my back pain while Phil is taking photos of dragonflies. I'm looking at the horizon thinking it's not dissimilar to the landscape I'm crossing at the moment. At the moment I'm in the middle of the first bit of water. I've traversed the bit of land before it and an very much in up to my neck. If my period doesn't start in the next couple of days and the discharge dissappears then I'll put of the water but onto the rough land ahead of that... There'll be breathing space until I'm thrashing through the reeds at the other end hoping against hope to get to the next stretch of water representing life beyond 12 weeks. Then I'll be paddling through 2nd and 3rd trimester, hard work but the view will be so much better and I'll be heading for solid land where I can look back and feel like it's some kind of miracle that I made it and there is a baby in my arms.

It's hard to believe that people make and have babies every day of the week all over the world. At any point in time someone will be conceiving, someone will be disappointed, someone will be miscarrying and someone will be giving birth. But the profundity of creating life and the heartache that goes into it can only be underestimated by someone who hasn't done it. I had no idea what it involved, and I feel all the richer for having had this experience. Even if I never make it to the other side of this first river, this experience has changed me and added to my bank of emotional depth and understanding to offer my clients. So... I'll either be a better counsellor or a mother. Win-win! 

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